Songwriting Without Boundaries Read online

  With this rhyme scheme, you don’t hear the first rhyme until the end of line 5, which adds some push for the final rhyme. The line lengths are doing the heavy lifting again, creating the forward push. Both line length and rhyme are traffic cops, but line length has a higher rank—captain, as opposed to sergeant.

  Your turn.

  DAY #14

  UNSTABLE STRUCTURE: ABBA

  Wow! Day fourteen and you’re still here. Good for you. Today you’ll work with an unstable structure, one that will help support lyric ideas in the unstable camp—loss, heartbreak, hope, dreaming, etc.

  Start with the first two lines of common meter:

  STRESSES RHYME SCHEME

  Tumbling and tumbling, boulders and rocks 4 a

  The color of blood and pain 3 b

  Now, instead of matching line 1, match line 2 and rhyme it:

  STRESSES RHYME SCHEME

  Tumbling and tumbling, boulders and rocks 4 a

  The color of blood and pain 3 b

  Of children who won’t breathe again 3 b

  Even with the rhyme, the structure feels a little funny. You feel like there might be more coming, but you have no idea what it could be. It’s unstable. For more on this point, take a look at my analysis of the second verse of “Between Fathers and Sons” in chapter three of my Essential Guide to Lyric Form and Structure.

  Without the rhyme, the feeling of suspension is even more obvious:

  STRESSES RHYME SCHEME

  Tumbling and tumbling, boulders and rocks 4 x

  The color of blood and shale 3 x

  Of children who won’t breathe again 3 x

  Either way, this third line fails to create strong expectations. The reader certainly doesn’t expect a match of line 1. It might be tempting to try it, but it doesn’t really balance things, since it reverses the sequence:

  STRESSES RHYME SCHEME

  Tumbling and tumbling, boulders and rocks 4 a

  The color of blood and pain 3 b

  Of children who won’t breathe again 3 b

  Stolen away by the red mountain top 4 a

  Today you’ll work in this abba structure. It creates an interesting feeling of floating, and by itself, will probably pull you into more unstable, dreamy places.

  Keep your writing sense-bound, and keep your eyes open for metaphor. As usual, set a timer and respond to the following prompts for exactly the time allotted. Use the whole time, whether or not you complete your final section.

  Rhyme your ten-minute piece abba, and your five-minute piece axxa. Use tetrameter lines for the outside lines, 1 and 4, trimeter lines for the inside lines, 2 and 3.

  Sight Sound Taste Touch Smell Body Motion

  10 minutes: Cloudy Day (abba)

  CHANELLE DAVIS

  Cloudy days remind me of you

  We didn’t feel the cold

  And thirty seemed so old

  Empty pockets and nothing to lose

  Drinking wine and playing cards

  Pretending to fall asleep

  I would watch you breathe

  You were tangled up in my heart

  Slowly all the love unwinds

  Threads and nothing more

  Piled up on the floor

  Left from once upon a time

  SUSAN CATTANEO

  Wispy, moping, low and gray

  They huddle close to the ground

  Scowling ether frowns

  They wander listless, clump then fray

  Cranky clouds throw a fit

  Thundering and whining

  Eyes full of lightning

  Spitting rain from snarling lips

  The sun comes with mother arms

  Cuddles gray to white

  Closing stormy eyes

  Calming tempers with her warming heart

  Pretty floaty stuff. Check out Chanelle’s extended thread metaphor, beginning with tangled. And Susan’s extended metaphor personifying the clouds, beginning with moping.

  Now watch what happens if you turn this abba sequence into equal length tetrameter lines:

  The sun comes with mother arms

  Cuddles gray to pearly white

  Finally closing stormy eyes

  Calming tempers with her warming heart

  This is called an “In Memoriam” quatrain, after a poem of that title by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. It was a poem mourning the death of a friend, and because the rhyme scheme’s unstable nature was so perfectly appropriate for the subject matter, the name stuck to both the rhyme scheme and the quatrain.

  I encourage you to experiment with this equal-line-length version of abba, but for now, use tetrameter lines for your outside lines, trimeter lines for your inside lines.

  Try it now.

  5 minutes: Sleeping Late (axxa)

  SARAH BRINDELL

  Float on a steady stream

  Forfeit all your chores

  Broken alarm clock

  Slip inside your heavy dream

  Lids barred at your eyelash seam

  Overlook the day

  Shades fake the time

  The bed holds a broken machine

  SUSAN CATTANEO

  Yawning wide as an open field

  Stretching in the lazy sun

  Skies melt like ice

  The August sun is ripe and peeled

  These really float. The interruption of motion that happens in the abba version of the rhyme scheme does not happen here.

  Both Sarah and Susan set us a’dreaming. A lovely finish for Challenge #4.

  And now it’s your turn. Good luck!

  AFTERWORD

  Of course, you know you haven’t finished. You’ve really only started. You now have the focus and the discipline that makes writing such a joyful experience. You can begin doing your work with new skills, new eyes and ears.

  Do your morning object writing; you have so many variations on it, you can stay excited to see what your writer will come up with next. I’d tell you to do metaphor exercises on a regular basis, but it’s probably too late for that. Metaphor should be such a part of your bloodstream by now that the exercises have become your normal way of seeing.

  You should now be faster with your rhythms and more attentive to rhyme and rhyme structures. That’ll make brainstorming ideas more fun, since now you can do it while you’re trying out rhythms and rhymes—working simultaneously on all three levels. You’ll get farther faster.

  If you did the challenges with friends, keep it up. Meet once a week to do object writing and metaphor exercises. Gillian Welch did, for 2½ years, and meeting with a group of Berklee alumni, culminating in her publishing deal and close behind, her record deal. She still does her object writing. She found her voice, big time.

  Mostly, congratulations for finishing. I hope this was useful and served your writing needs. I had a great time putting it together. I had such wonderful help.

  My deepest gratitude to all my contributors.

  Pat Pattison

  July 25, 2011

  TO THE CONTRIBUTORS:

  I am honored that you, and so many others, stepped up to the plate and submitted your work. I had a marvelous time going through all the entries, as many as forty for some prompts—I’m grateful to Clare McLeod for helping me work through them.

  I learned a lot, reading your work. When you write from your senses, when you search for metaphor, clichés and generic writing melt away into something beautiful and compelling. It comes from a real place in you. And so, opens a real place in me. That’s why it’s so much fun.

  It’s wonderful to get to know you.

  SHANE ADAMS, Nashville TN

  SAM ALESSI, Idaho Falls ID

  SUSAN ANDERS, Nashville TN

  GREG BECKER,Nashville TN

  DAVEY BEIGE,Auckland NZ

  BLEU,Los Angeles CA

  NELSON BOGART,New York NY

  CATHY BRETTELL,Denver CO

  HOLLY BRETTELL,Denver CO

  SARAH BRINDELL,San Francisco CA

&nbs
p; MEGAN BURTT, Denver CO

  SUSAN CATTANEO,Boston MA

  ANTHONY CESERI,Red Bank NJ

  KRISTIN CIFELLI,Boston MA

  KEPPIE COUTTS,Sydney Australia

  CHRIS COWAN,Austin TX

  CHANELLE DAVIS,Melbourne Australia

  ADRIANA DUARTE,Lisbon Portugal

  ADAM FARR,Granada Spain

  ROB GILES,Los Angeles CA

  JOY GORA,Longmeadow MA

  EMILY GREENE,New York NY

  ANN HALVORSEN,San Francisco CA

  CAROLINE HARVEY,Boston MA

  BONNIE HAYES,San Francisco CA

  IAN HENCHY,Cape Cod MA

  MATT K(prefers to remain anonymous)

  SCARLET KEYS,Portsmouth NH

  JOANNA LEIGH,Newcastle NSW, Australia

  SYLVIE LEWIS,London UK

  KAMI LYLE,Harwich MA

  LINDA M,Toronto Canada

  CLARE MCLEOD,North Hampton NH

  MO MCMORROW,Austin TX

  JESS MEIDER,Beijing China

  JAMES MERENDA,Brooklyn NY

  NICK MILLER,Sydney Australia

  KAZ MITCHELL,Melbourne Australia

  SARAH MOUNT,Boston MA

  TAMI NEILSON,Auckland NZ

  LEORA NOSKO,Louisville KY

  REBECCA OLMSTED,Berlin Germany

  JOHN O’SHAUGHNESSY,Lake Cathie Australia

  CHARLOTTE PENCE,Knoxville TN

  PAUL PENTON,Melbourne Australia

  DEBORAH QUILTER,Melbourne Australia

  TASLEEM RAJWANI,Vancouver British Columbia Canada

  BEN ROMANS,Los Angeles CA

  LEORA SALO,Houston TX

  CATRINA SEIFFERT,Melbourne Australia

  MICHAEL SHORR,Taos NM

  AMY SPEACE,Nashville TN

  ANDREA STOLPE,Los Angeles CA

  MANUEL STüBINGER,Kulmbach Germany

  STAN SWINIARSKI,Boston MA

  SHIRLEY TO,Chino Hills CA

  NICHOLAS TOZIER,Jefferson ME

  TANJA WARD,Washington DC

  GILLIAN WELCH,Nashville TN

  SCOTT WILKINSON,Birmingham MI

  CHARLIE WORSHAM,Nashville TN

  THE CONTRIBUTORS TALK ABOUT THE CHALLENGES

  Pat Pattison is the writing teacher I’ve been long praying for and his writing exercises are nothing short of revolutionary. I’m almost embarrassed to say that after over a decade of professional creative writing I don’t think I ever fully understood the function and craft of metaphor until diving in to the writing challenges of Songwriting Without Boundaries. With the elegant flair of a wonderfully mad scientist, Pat pulls the best out of artists and empowers us to make the work we’ve always wanted to make. The poetry I’ve produced since investing in Pat’s teaching has been some of the liveliest, most powerful, and most published work of my career so far. His smart, inventive, cut-to-the-chase instruction has been the necessary overhaul for my whole creative life; the very core of my writing practice has been revamped and infused with new, lustrous life-blood. His books sit open on my desk, dog-eared and well worn.

  —CAROLINE HARVEY, PROFESSIONAL POET,

  FEATURED ON HBO’S DEF POETRY JAM

  The last time I made four new songs in a month that I liked was a long time ago. Having to work the challenges opens a gate into a garden where I can get pleasure out of using language again. Noticing connections between things is like a beautiful tree in that garden, with abundant fruit.

  One more thing; I have always found as a teacher that getting certain students to “get” metaphor was difficult; it sort of seemed like one either has the knack or not. But I feel like Pat’s approach may be one of the best methods of teaching writers to use figurative language I’ve encountered; and in fact, it may be the only one. I can’t wait to use this book in my classes as well as in my own work.

  — BONNIE HAYES, SONGWRITER (“HAVE A HEART,” BONNIE RAITT), TEACHER, SAN FRANCISCO, CA

  I never realized how restricted and confined my lyrics were until I started doing Pat’s exercises. The exercises opened the door to a vast expanse of lyrical options that I had rarely tapped into. The depth and interest of my lyrics improved greatly even after the first few days of doing the exercises. My brain was forced out of its routine and strengthened new muscles of imagination that will become the new default setting for all my writing to come. It’s too easy to become complacent in our writing and important for us all to constantly challenge ourselves in the way that Pat has shown us here. The methods he teaches in this book are effective and lasting.

  —GREG BECKER, SONGWRITER (CARRIE UNDERWOOD, RASCAL FLATTS), NASHVILLE, TN

  In the middle of working on these challenges I left for a writing/recording trip to Mexico to work on my new record... so I sort of had an immediate test of the effect of these exercise. It was pretty amazing. My writing didn’t “change” per se—it was still me, working in my normal style, but, everything came faster, and more fluidly. Some of the ideas almost seemed to fall out fully formed. Above all—I think that’s the magic of this book—it preps your brain to be a better you.

  —BLEU, RECORDING ARTIST, SONGWRITER, PRODUCER, LOS ANGELES, CA

  Pat’s lessons gave me a voice so many years ago, and many of those tools I still use almost daily. But when I was given a new assignment, I was so intimidated, I almost couldn’t bring myself to try them. Would I be able to meet his expectations? Or mine? Once I dove in I quickly realized that, once again, I was going to be led across the dance floor to where the lights don’t shine, that I would improve in places that I didn’t know I had places. Pat and his challenges have a way of saying “Psst, come here, back behind these familiar words... I wanna show you something...” And from there, an unknown vista comes into focus and changes your perspective forever.

  —ROB GILES, SONGWRITER, RECORDING ARTIST (THE RESCUES), LOS ANGELES, CA

  Before the challenges, I feared metaphor. If one crept into my song I probably wouldn’t have known about it. Pat’s exercises exposed metaphor for what it is—one of the most important and exciting tools a writer can possess. It flicked a switch in my brain, and suddenly I could see metaphors everywhere! Overnight my songs became more original and memorable because I could express my ideas in a unique way. I now have the ability to paint pictures with my lyrics, and show rather than tell by using sense bound language.

  Writing every day felt great. Even if just for 15-20min, I was doing my job and becoming a better songwriter. Each challenge built nicely into the next, and before I knew it I was using metaphor, sense bound language, line length AND throwing in rhymes! This is where the magic happens. It has definitely taken my writing to the next level—and I had fun doing it.

  —CHANELLE DAVIS, SONGWRITER, RECORDING ARTIST, MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA

  Ever since day one of object writing, Pat’s never-ending coaching, wisdom, exercises, and crafting have always provided one of the most important responsibilities as a songwriter: awareness. Awareness of all possibilities, and what can carve deeper into the listener’s mind.

  —BEN ROMANS, SONGWRITER, RECORDING ARTIST (THE CLICK FIVE) LOS ANGELES, CA

  The object writing challenge for me started out as written fragments of sentiment and awkwardness, which had a habit of splattering untidily as the timer ticked away. As the days passed, my writing settled into strangely cozy corners of storytelling. By the end of the challenge my writing was sitting in the sunshine in a leafy valley, dusted with a frankness uncovered during this wonderful writing practice. I recommend object writing wholeheartedly, to all writers.

  —DEBORAH QUILTER, SONGWRITER, MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA

  Oh, I loved these challenges! They wake you up creatively so that you’re viewing the world in terms of metaphor, looking for just the right verb or noun that paints the picture you’ve got in your head. I found that they were the perfect exercises to do before actually writing a song—kind of like a great mental warm up before the marathon.

  I also found that working in meter really started me focusing on strong vs. weak wo
rds and playing with duple and triple feel in lyrics. When you add in the power of making sonic connections through rhyme, you really get a great sense of how meter and rhyme can hold a section together. In my opinion, these exercises are a must for every songwriter.

  —SUSAN CATTANEO, ARTIST, SONGWRITING FACULTY, BERKLEE COLLEGE OF MUSIC

  The object writing challenge is a guaranteed solution to writer’s block! It is a multi-purpose tool that invited me to silence my inner critic and jump into the limitless potential of original sensory images that only exist within me.

  The progressive nature of the challenge (moving from who, to where, etc.) encouraged me to focus on the juicy details in each category in order to paint a picturesque scene that truly invites someone to sit down and listen.

  The different time lengths in the challenge taught me that those jewels patiently waiting to be found can just as quickly rise to the top if I was writing for 10 minutes or 90 seconds. It is a dependable skill that can be fired up at any time in the songwriting process.

  Doing the challenge also resulted in a wellspring of fresh song titles, verses, and choruses that I never would have realized without the technique.

  I would absolutely recommend the process to any songwriter. It is especially motivating completing the challenge within a community of other writers.

  —JOY GORA, SONGWRITER, LONGMEADOW, MA

  INDEX

  Adams, Shane, 14-15, 19-20, 181, 218

  adjective-noun collisions exercise

  See also adjective-noun collisions exercise prompts

  adjective-noun collisions exercise prompts

  blackened autumn, 56-57

  blackened funeral, 53-54

  fallen carburetor, 54

  fallen funeral, 57

  fevered carburetor, 58

  fevered handkerchief, 55

  lonely handkerchief, 56

  lonely moonlight, 52-53

  smooth autumn, 54-55

  smooth moonlight, 58

  See also adjective-noun collisions exercise prompts

  adjectives, 50, 51, 52, 59, 65, 67, 89, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 97, 106, 171

  See also adjective-noun collisions exercise; finding adjectives from nouns exercise; finding nouns from adjectives exercise

  adverbs, 51, 59, 171

  Alessi, Sam, 13-14, 218

  American Hunger, 105

  Anders, Susan, 30, 218

  Aristotle, 51